Bits and Bytes

The other day at work a co-worker asked me ‘What do you know about blogs?  How do I start one?’  Well I’ll be damned – I don’t know Shirley* – sheesh – do I look like a goddamn wizard??  It’s not like I’m the Communications person around here!  Oh wait.  But really – I know crap all about blogs – I know people post a shit-ton of recipes to them (hello Pinterest!) but what else did I know?  Nada.  So here I am.  After 3 days of doing fuck all since Shirley* mentioned the big ‘B’ except feel sorry for myself for knowing fuck all about blogs, and an intense 10 minutes thinking about what I’d name my blog,  I created this work of art.  Even downloaded the super amazing and crisp stock photo of the squirrels eating apples on my cover page.  Not sure how long till the cheques start arriving but pretty sure that’s how it works.  But seriously – I’m 40 – I do not feel the least bit concerned that I know nothing about blogs.  When I was in high school I spent my time scrounging for quarters to buy warm chocolate chip cookies from the cafeteria and learned how to type on a TYPEWRITER!  We got our 1st home computer in the early 90’s and it came with the ‘Encarta Encylopedia’ discs and oh. my. god. we thought we died and landed on the moon!  We were like, look out world, this family’s gonna get shit done!  (We didn’t get any shit done by the way).

So creating the site was easy peasy enough, but how will I keep the masses coming back for more??  Will I write about…

  • My 25 lb recent weight gain  and my quest to lose it?  No, besides, there’s no quest to lose it – that was a lie.
  • My knack for getting guys to purpose? (I’m at 3!  Suck it single ladies!) No, I’m saving that shit for the novel!
  • How about my quest to make the world a better place with my newfound passion for veganism and zero-waste?  It’s been a whole 80% committed two weeks, so, maybe…
  • My fiance and our two super fucking gorgeous dogs and our ongoing quest to make a god damn baby already??  Probably.
  • A whole shit ton of stuff that may or may not include any of the above despite my predictions, with most likely a few Pearl Jam references sprinkled in?  Fuck yes!

So stay tuned.  I figure this site just cost me $75 for the year so if I post at least 10 blogs that’s like $7.50/blog.  What a steal!  Only 9 more to go!

*names have been changed to protect the innocent